These are my rhythms of life here in 2017. I say I love you, cry, ask for forgiveness, and pray. I don’t have a clue about the rest of it. I know fast food destroys my body, but here I am scavenging the dregs out of the waffle fry sleeve. I know life is supposed to be lived like a revolving door but I’m still trying to keep everyone packed on top of each other in the same revolving wedges so no one can fall out. I know social media is bad for me generally but yet here I am. I’m easing into more changes but clinging to my rituals.
Earlier this year I was sitting at my neighbor's table while she made fried pies. We're both from Arkansas and although almost 60 years separate us, chatter can pass between us like we graduated high school together. We both moved to the neighborhood in 2009. I asked her that day what brought her to Jefferson City. "To die," she answered with a small wry smile. I came here to grow up, I told her. But I've thought a lot about that moment that brought two drastically different lives to intersect over moving to Stonebridge in 2009 and a desire to eat fried pies.
Don’t ask how I waded through two weeks of vacation footage of Cambridge, London, Pretoria, Soweto, Johannesburg, and Kruger together in a weekend. It was ugly. I only expect Ashley, Britt, Celeste and Jan Suitt to watch this in its entirety (Celeste, because she’s the harshest music critic) –for the rest of you, all the babies can be found at 12:26. Safari starts at 15:15. You’re welcome. SO blessed to be able to take this […]
“We proclaim the dignity of humans in a dehumanizing age. The Christian Church believes that humans are made in the image of God and even though that image is marred by sin, it cannot be eradicated but it shines out everywhere before us in every person. We believe in the ineradicable and irreducible glory of human beings; but we live in an age that believes in dehumanization. It’s complicated because we live in an age […]
Bessie has been a faithful member of my church since a few years before I moved to Jefferson City and has become one of my dearest friends here. We love Taylor Swift and babies and coloring and just hanging out. She’s one of those quiet, steady friends who I can enjoy silence with as well, which is a rare and beautiful thing. Her mom passed away pretty suddenly last month and is now starting a […]
When she bore down to push, I looked around the room at the seven of us. I thought about each generation before us, who labored out the next, and on and on, that brought us here, to a darkened hospital room to bear witness the birth of this little one. Tamika grabbed Ryan’s hand and I thought of my own mother’s soft tan hands gripping a cold hospital rail and my dad’s arm, as if it eased any sort of pain. It is crazy how humans can love each other that much without the slightest clue of who they are bringing into the world and the heartache tethered to them. It is crazy knowing my mom –like many others- would do it all over again if she had the chance.
"I've had a lot of time to mull over the year as it has come and gone and I've come to grieve the wasted opportunities to lean in my disappointment and turn it back to joy. This is especially hard for me to realize, when looking back at my birthday, which was an unexpected highlight. The word often spoken over to me by my closest friends on that day was the word "joy". I wanted to own that word last year. I would like to think have been content to know I had become an utter delight inside and out regardless of circumstances. I was not. God bless my small community being pulled in and out of my wake."
Two uninterrupted weeks with family was so great this year. I kept the camera around the house and it was put to good use. Enjoy Ashley and I SLAYING our golfing game. We’re the natural athletes of the family. We missed my sister Britt terribly but we were happy to Skype her in the festivities and hear about her first South African Christmas. Shoutout to the Barbs for the gift of the diy macarons! We […]
“Instead of proudly trusting in his own or others’ expertise, [Namaan] was called to the soul work of humility. As a result, he not only got a cure for his body but a new relationship with God and a soul infused with grace and joy. Suffering led to his salvation. This does not even begin to answer the question, “Why does God allow so much evil and suffering in the world to persist?” Nor does […]