These are my rhythms of life here in 2017. I say I love you, cry, ask for forgiveness, and pray. I don’t have a clue about the rest of it. I know fast food destroys my body, but here I am scavenging the dregs out of the waffle fry sleeve. I know life is supposed to be lived like a revolving door but I’m still trying to keep everyone packed on top of each other in the same revolving wedges so no one can fall out. I know social media is bad for me generally but yet here I am. I’m easing into more changes but clinging to my rituals.
When she bore down to push, I looked around the room at the seven of us. I thought about each generation before us, who labored out the next, and on and on, that brought us here, to a darkened hospital room to bear witness the birth of this little one. Tamika grabbed Ryan’s hand and I thought of my own mother’s soft tan hands gripping a cold hospital rail and my dad’s arm, as if it eased any sort of pain. It is crazy how humans can love each other that much without the slightest clue of who they are bringing into the world and the heartache tethered to them. It is crazy knowing my mom –like many others- would do it all over again if she had the chance.
A few weeks ago I was leaving for Nashville for the week (even though I was just there the weekend before, but what is being twenty something if not for burning up the road?) and because I meet with Kylie on Wednesdays I swapped out and met with her earlier in the week. I wrote about Kylie early on in our friendship through the local public school mentoring program here –she is a highlight of […]
I worked at an old camera and video shop in down town Rogers, Arkansas for sixteen months after graduating college. I was hired as a portrait/commercial photographer, but most of my days were spent behind the dusty laminate counters, selling cameras and video equipment, helping elderly customers upload photos at our kiosks, and occasionally teaching basic photography classes after hours. Enough time has passed that I’m becoming a bit sentimental about it, you know, in […]
My travel schedule has finally started the downhill slide that I confess that I look forward to. As much as I love to get out of my routine and meet new people and eat Panda Express, most days I’m content to be in my house and more importantly, abide in my stretchy pants after 5:00 PM. It’s been an absolutely fantastic and busy summer and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to be a part […]
Aunthood is the best because you can make paper hats and let them sit around half naked in the July heat, snuggle all day, and pass them off when they get fussy. Being an aunt truly is one of the best things that has happened in my life. I love my niece and nephew Cora and Davis like nuts! Cora was pretty fussy by the end of the shoot, so I don’t have very many […]
“People are really trying their best. Just like being happy and sad, you will find yourself on both sides of the equation many times over your lifetime, either saying or hearing the wrong thing. Let’s all give each other a pass, shall we?” David Rakoff, Half Empty
Over the holidays I ended up in Queens visiting my childhood friend and her husband, accompanied with my college roommate, who is now a seasoned Coloradan and conqueror of things like “mountains” and “bouldering” and “snow” and “going through the pass” and other outlandish things. These existences barely beg my attention in the newly inhabited flatish mid west, whose weather and culture is something like Baby Jane Hudson going through menopause. New York was a […]
I read an article recently entitled “Why I Quit Guarding My Heart” – a considerably less stupid reflection than its title might suggest on living fully by unleashing your relational inhibitions. The article, written by a young woman who, through her grandfather’s recent passing, had begun to understand that in order for her to live the life she desired, she needed to stop preserving her long-term emotional goals and issue in a reign of truth and […]
Last week my neighbor died in his house across the street from mine. I didn’t know Mr. Marts. I knew he was particular about his lawn, which numerous times won yard of the month – whose weathered yard sign and neighborhood elitism I passively coveted. His yard was illuminated by a halo of buzzing blinding light from the street pole, ensuring added attention to his perfectly manicured lawn, especially at night. I knew he must […]